And I'm Feelin' Good

		YINLING ♥ \| \| Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Reeds driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good

CHATTERBOX DECLARATIONS Let me think for a bit eh WISHFUL hmm ~~hmm~~ more hmmm RUNAWAY In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight REWIND August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 June 2009 CREDITS Desiger/edited by: Milk shakeee Basecode: doughnutcrazy Music: LALALA! Icon: Picture Cbox: Tag		raggedy muse 11:40 PM Alive and Kicking Just got back from FINISHING ARABIAN NIGHTS, AND VIETNAM and will be to japan tmr afternoon, hence explaining the lack fo life in this humble abode. AN was a blast, excellent bonding experience. It really was a great production (: Vietnam in Ho Chi Minh was a very tourist-y relaxed experience with us pampered princesses and princes (as christened by our tour guide) being ferried around, well-fed, well-dressed and well rested. Spent money like water in USD, slept like logs in the bus, ate many spring rolls and rice paper. On a different note, I also just got back from my uncle's funeral. He died of a unexpected heart attack in America a week ago. Life really is just so fragile, just one simple tap and the frail glass shatters. He left his 2 boys, one in AC J2, one in NUS year 2, and his wife. It was quite a surreal, yet, generic family occasion, one of the times like at new year or birthdays where my mother's side of the family gathers. Her 4 siblings, my grandparents and my numerous big and small cousins. As I approached the tent, one of those typical Singaporean funerals at the void deck of the HDB flat, I didn't know quite how to act, o react, or feel for that matter. I was never very close to my uncle, but close enough by normal cordial relative status. I picked up the joss stick my father passed to me, its sweet spicy familiar smell lightly wafting. The 2 brothers waited beside us as guardians of the body, of hosts, of the closest family members. My daddy asked if we wanted to see the body, one of my other sister didn't want to. I decided that I should, that there should be nothing to be afraid of or nothing to be awkward about. Looking into the clear part of the coffin glass, I saw a face familiar, yet by miles distant. It was clearly my uncle, but the lack of life was stark and the thick make-up unnatural. The red tie and the suit seemed a little suffocating, as ironic as it may be, and he didn't quite look like himself but rather over-dressed almost as if a puppet doll. Like those puppets in Vietnamese water puppetry, with white painted faces. Yet it was neither sickening nor nauseating nor uneasy. It was just, as is. There was no incessant dramatic sobbing, or kneeling and chanting, and everyone was just chatting normally about everyday stuff, like my trip to vietnam. Many of us were folding the papaer money into ingot shapes to be burnt for my uncle. Those stacks of thin printed paper money went on and on and my sister was there folding since 1 in the afternoon. My parents went to pick of the Thai Buddhist monks that were here to do the prayer for my uncle. 4 yellow clad monks arrived and a couple of straw mats were laid out in front of the coffin tent while the monks sat at the side. My aunty, the 2 boys, my 2 cousins around my age, my other uncle and us 3 sisters sat on the mat and waited. The monks asked to be served tea which had been prepared, and I almost got up to get the tea for them when my cousin nicely snapped that girls can't serve the tea. The feminist in me geared up a little as it was clear the monks asserted the authority of the males and the men, pointing out my uncle to lead us in the kneeling and the bowing. What is the aim of prayer? To lift the soul to a calm place. As the monks chanted prayers we sat on the ground with our heads bowed and my mind wandered into the realm of questioning faith, belief and religion. As my mind floated in the hypnotic and calming rhythm of the prayers, I realised that the reason I have remained agnostic is that despite all the great values and qualities I see in each religion, there is somehow something that doesn't quite click with my way of thinking. As the chants went on, I realised I could not understand a word of the chants, nor did I much appreciate the gender inequality inherent. And yet the humble quiet way of the monks, and the simple yet earnest session was calming. Immersed in a christian environment in school, I really appreciate how every act or effort is not done as means to an end, but is reflected upon, done in the glory of a higher being and is appreciated and thanked. The forgiving and supportive community structure is also immensely loving. And yet, I can't seem to speak to this illustrious God, the idea of having to subscribe to a faith (by a certain few) to be saved and to earn a place in eternal heaven as means to an end, does not go down quite well with me. I believe each and every religion or faith has its historic and factual roots in some point of civilisation and culture, and I truly believe that it is inherent in humanity to look to a higher being other than oneself, a greater purpose and meaning in life. That one doesn't just live and die for nothing for other than the most utilitarian of purposes. Cultures have looked up to everything from the Sun, to the Moon, the animals in almost every aspect in thanksgiving, praise and spiritual pursuit. Each religion, faith or belief, no matter how pure its intent is a crucial social and cultural construct, just as how society and culture influences the basis and the pratice of faith and religion. And as there are flaws in every human construct, I believe no religion or faith is perfect, as is everything in the earthly abode, but more importantly I am torn in subscribing to one God or one faith for I believe none of them are truly, 'true'. For no one can look into what happens after death, and no living man can testify to the concrete prescence of that one God in the form which he or she claims. But yet no I am not saying that what you can't see doesn't exist, I do believe that a higher being, a greater spirit, in whatever form NEEDS to exist. But I don't see why I need to be torn and choose to subscribe a particular one. For all we know, none of the forms of God we humans claim are true, for all we know all forms we claim are in fact one, for all we know all of them are true to some extent and it is culture and society which distorts its original form. God is for all of us, is everywhere, and perhaps does not need to fall into a tangible form. What is true to each individual in the spirit is what one honestly and whole-heartedly believes to be the truth. And that is why I honestly respect each steadfast and devout Christian, the friends around me. And here ends my verbal vomit in its coarse and unpolished form. cheers and goodnights. raggedy muse 7:55 PM More Cam-whoring CPA Gala Dinner Drama-dancers! I'm the one the other way round yes. Frances the diva in the middle as usual. (: nicholas ngo in a skirt he put on himself. he did. he always does. now this is the way it is. the girls are the strong men whee. Our star boys. Sigh. ALL PHOTOS COURTESY OF BEV'S AND GABBY'S BLOGS (: raggedy muse 12:13 PM* After 4 days of climbing poles, walking tightropes, vertical drops, being carried through tiny holes, cheering and waking up at 2.30 to change 4 times BADEN-POWELL CCAAB 07' BP GIRLS (: BP BOYS Maryn's big --- heh. Now this is the AC spirit. Ha. Mr Lau dancing with me. Les, you jealous? HEH. (joanne chin somehow still looks good in that weird position.) ME AND JAS. and yes you can't see my eyes fine. DHE THE PIMP. ACSIAN THEATRE UNITE (: raggedy muse 10:19 PM Tralala culmination of lovely emo songs stolen from fang's blog. cheesy but great nonetheless. I'M BACK FROM CCAAB. I shall elaborate on experiences another day, very lazy and tired now. Just had dinner with Fang and friend Daniel, ICE CREAMMMMM MMMM. Good happy times. REFEARSALS REHEARSALS BACK TO REALITY AFTER CAMP. MEMORISE, H3 PROPOSAL, A PROPER MEANINGFUL POST. I going to bum around now. Till my sanity and coherence returns, Goodnight World. (: raggedy muse 11:03 AM Pack, Memorise (CHANT WITH ME) PW IS OVER WAHA. ALL ACADEMIC RESPONSIBILTIES AT A VERY SHORT-LIVED HALT YEAH. CCAB camp tmr, I may not seem particularly excited, but I never minded camps and all, it should be fun. I'll only get in the mood when I reach wherever we are camping whee. Packing is 3/4 done, a feat for miss procrastinator here, I started this morning to find I have no insect repellant, sunblock and sleeping bag (after getting Jas to send me the packing list which I lost, obviously ha). But this will all rectify itself in a while. MEMORISE SCRIPT YES. 2 WEEKS TO SHOW. YES. SELL MORE TICKETS YES. it is 3.13 now. rehearsal at 5. better reach by 4.45. nap for an hour. 4.13 to 4.40 memorise script. I've got a stock of yohgurt and ICE CREAM in my freezer I should finish before going off into the wilderness as well. Today is a good day. Waha, I'm bulking up. Storing fats for the camp. Heh. I'm not quite making sense, but I suppose I wanted to lighten the mood of this place a bit, since Schwa dear has commented my blog is getting emo (though in my opinion I find it pretty hopeful indeed) Life's smooth sailing, No imminent emotional or physological (I CANT SPELL) problems or troubles or pains, I have friends (albeit those who love to make fun of me at every chance), I have good food (NO I AM NOT GOING TO SPILL OVER MY COSTUME, I AM LOVE MADE PERFECT LOL) AHH napping time ticking away. Goodnight world. P.S. Beams.