Wonder when we will next have such an outing.

--

It was like a parellel episode out of Great Expectations. Such a random thought, but that's really what it reminded me of, after that moment swept past.

I remember that feeling, that sensation of the breath being sucked out of you, and you're heart pounding uncharacteristically loud. Its not really the speed at which it beats, although it does speed up, but how hard each beat is. As if with every beat, the breath is pounded out of my chest.

I remember that surreal sensation, which only one person has made me felt. I remember the moment when I first experienced it, and the moments which made my body react involuntarily and uncontrollably that way.

Its odd that a similar sensation is felt despite the different emotions attached to the seperate moments. Moments of elation and floating on air, moments of intense heart ache, moments of I-have-no-idea-what-just-happened-and-am-not-quite-sure-how-to-feel.

It is uncanny the way this expected yet unexpected encounter played out. The said encounter must have played out in mind many numerous times in an array of situations and outcomes, with a spectrum of emotions, scenarios, locations. It was eventually inevitable, judging from the size of our tiny island, but well I far from expected it to happen on such a day at such a place, in such a casual yet ironic uncanny way.

I remember clearly the last encounter played out almost a year ago. I even remember the exact date, however insignificant and pointless it is to do so. Again it was an uncanny encounter. Out of 50, 000 people, out of all the times to leave.

With the exact same group of people, with the same crucial person the very last point of direct contact and connection was passed on. With the same group of people who I barely congregate with, with the same person who was only in town for 2 weeks. In the most random of locations, which I haven't laid foot in for years.

Once again, the moment was fleeting, uber-casual, and no one could tell what it meant to me, perhaps except for the same person who stood beside me during the last encounter. The same person who stood beside me this time, in the oddest of circumstances.

As ironic as it was, there was a added layer of satire. The new player amongst the same formation of the past. Oh, it did not shock or hurt me. All it did was within this parellel, emphasise all that has changed, all that has been and will no longer be.

I guess this would be the last time you will have that effect on me. And I wish you all the very very best, whether you hear me or not.

And I say this not in bitterness, perhaps a little in melancholy. But more so in remembrance, like a bitter-sweet closing chapter. So that ever so often I am reminded of you, or rather the memory of you, a chapter is written in closing.

And all I am waiting for now, is for a new chapter to unfold.