And I'm Feelin' Good

		YINLING ♥ \| \| Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Reeds driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good

CHATTERBOX DECLARATIONS Let me think for a bit eh WISHFUL hmm ~~hmm~~ more hmmm RUNAWAY In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight REWIND August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 June 2009 CREDITS Desiger/edited by: Milk shakeee Basecode: doughnutcrazy Music: LALALA! Icon: Picture Cbox: Tag		raggedy muse 7:31 PM you know what? i like where i am now. its a good place to be. a balanced state of being. (i sound like some odd yogi) finally, amazingly, the balance between contentment, acceptance and hope, have seemed to miraculously found their own place of being once again. it took time, it took phases and stages, but i think after long while (long enough i think), it has come into some sort of existence. things, or rather state of mind, has a weird way of working out on its own it seems. past experience proves so, and it only corroborates of now. the scale is once again symmetrical. its nice being here. i have returned to where i belong (haha, reminds me of act 3), after a swerve off the path. its nice to be back. and im glad i swerved. maybe if i didn't swerve, i wouldn't be back here now. i might have been stuck on the curb. maybe being back on path wouldn't have been, as appreciated. and i am glad that it was enough to make me swerve, and i am glad it made me swerve. i suppose the, situation, needs some working out though. its still in a rather.. stagnant, state. but things have never failed to work out somehow. no reason to believe that it can't be done of now. and even not working out, is a form of working out, isn't it. but lets not look to the worse shall we. set our sights a little higher, and you have a better chance of jumping further. there are of course limits to one's physical ability, but at least you aimed. at least thats the case for standing broad jump. rather than looking down at your feet, and jump 2 cm. at least i passed my standing broad jump. at least my side of the state of mind has cleared up. that's a step. although i have absolutely zero clue whats happening on the other side of the wall, i wish i did, and maybe it is better for me not too? at least the part of it that needn't be masked. sure, no resolution is a resolution. sure, it could forever remain a ghost. but if it needn't be, then it needn't be. sure my renewed state of being can effectively counter floating entities and not let it affect me too much, but it would be nice to earth and solidify it. some kind of pinning down would be nice. floaters are rather..fluffy, don't you think? not to mention, how i miss the former manisfestation. and now i miss it, not neccesarily in the former state of being, but... at least part of it which could still be feasible in a different state, or all states. or rather, disregarding all former or possible states, i miss, simply, the person whom i had come to love. and to love not neccesarily in the conventional assumed instintive connotation of the word, but perhaps something that transcends the letters itself. for i cannot exactly put a finger to where it stands in the usual spectrum of archetyped meaning associated with the word. and maybe it doesn't have to fit in there exactly somewhere. and most of the time, these few days, i think the 'missing' factor has largely diminished in my conscious mind, in fact, has become dormant. that is what time and absence does. and probably what i think i actually miss has morphed, or become clear to me, whichever you prefer. which is good. to feel it acutely is painful. but here i am, typing the stuff before this paragraph, and i realise or think i realise, that i genuinely do. helplessly so. even though the image of the former manifestation is fading, i suppose i still do. and how it is that dear friend, says that she misses and misses, and then she doesn't miss anymore. i think she doesn't really really feel that. and then again, one can't define what missing is to everyone, and for all i know, i might not actually be missing. i don't know. that has to be straightened out too. can one decide not to miss someone? some say the day you decide to be happy, that is the day of happiness starrting. if i could decide, should i decide not to miss? does the dormant state say something? what if i in fact, don't love the person anymore, in whatever sense of the word? maybe i never did? ahhhhhh, pardon all my rampant verbalising of inner musings and thought processes. choose what you may to read of it. srsly, it could mean absolutely nothing, or everything. and it is a process, and it may morph in the next minute. now, thats my mind's perogative. when you know that you just don't know. and i know that i just don't know. this post has sounded a little, demented. :) basically what it means, is that i am back to my usual self again. whatever normality entails for me. i would say back to my old self, but not quite. same old brand new me. god, that sounds cheesy.(REMEMBER THE ANCIENT A1 SONG! 'SAME OLD BRAND NEW YOU'. ahhhh, the boy band groupie days.) not exactly brand new though. just, hmmmm, the me that made people like me in the first place, a little little teeny teeny bit wiser, and a little more sensitive and able to relate to 'that' spectrum of human emotion. and a teeny little bit of me still in the 'i don;t know' state. and then we ask, what does 'wise' entail? infer yourself, im lazy :P of course many people don't like me, but for those who did or do in some form. I THINK. if i should dare assume. :D:D:D all these i think i know. OOOHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. in the name of the 5 elements in balance, i wish everyone good health, mind and body as one. (in a exaggerated indian accent, similar to the one in '5 birds, but i only have one bird, ok' GRINS) WAHAHAHA. this has been a cheesy irrelevant production of the self professed inspirational YOGI self-taught self-inspired self-obsessed :D ouch. my mind is overworked. that's enough thinking and verbalising thinking for one day. tata! note to self: maybe i should post more less-cerebral stuff. maybe less personal stuff too. maybe less obviously? maybe less in detail?AAHHH. i'll post whatever the heck i want. :P why agonise. here i am transparent, to anyone who can close read and bother to. and i hope that doesn't make me vulnerable.