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YINLING ♥ | | Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Reeds driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good |
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CHATTERBOX
DECLARATIONS
WISHFUL
RUNAWAY
REWIND
CREDITS
Desiger/edited by: MilkshakeeeBasecode: doughnutcrazy Music: LALALA! Icon: Picture Cbox: Tag |
raggedy muse
5:14 PM 2 hours to gathering! yay! raggedy muse
6:16 PM now where shall we start? filming is so tiring. i swear i got enough exercise to burn off all the fats accumulated for these few weeks of uncontrolled diet, coupled with yoga practice yest. running down the corridor, running up and down all the stairs. all in a freakin sweater, put on to differentiate my character from the rest of the student population in the same uniform. and standing on the parade square with one shoe off. heh heh. oh yes, i hope the close up of my emo outbreak isn't too atrocious. i won't bear to look. no, its not entirely the acting i am worried about, MY SKIN IS IN TERRIBLE CONDITION. EEEEEEE. haha. sigh, all the sacrifice for art. HA. NOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT MYSELF IN EDITING. AHHHHHHH. thats why i like the stage, strong lights, distance from audience, thicker than usual makeup. less SCRUTINY. AND CANNOT BE REPLAYED OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO LOOK AT ALL THE MISTAKES. oh no, i complained about my skin and my weight. darn i sound like qianling. HAHA. who is neither fat nor ugly. yes dear! *whines*, you can't come tmr either! list of people who i would want terribly to come but can't: MAVISSSSS, JOO JOO, QIANLING, NOO, MICH LAIIIIIIIII, etc. nvm, all of u can come another day, the lanterns can be reused. heh heh. but lots of people i want to come are coming! so yay! can't wait! have to wake up early again tmr.. sigh.. well, it makes the day seem more productive though. whee. daddy bought lotsa mooncakes, 2 boxes of snowskin, one of assorted baked ones. they look goooooooodd. my dentist says to drinks lotsa water esp after mooncakes. and that my teeth are relatively clean, except places. hahah. i like my dentist and the nurses! they are funny. dentist says my teeth are already quite straight, and my course should be very short! i kinda like them actually, my braces. hey, people are actually putting them on for FASHION. i am serious. heh. my braces are now dark blue and pink. whee. la la la la la la la la la la and i miss someone, but it doesn't matter.
raggedy muse
8:18 PM raggedy muse
5:32 PM lanterns, sparklers, candles, bubbles, water guns! yay, fang and joo went with me today to buy supplies, at concourse, some weird place we never knew about, and tmr i shall continue with zerui to get hmmm lighters, plastic cutlery, food? maybe i'll ask daddy to go with me to get food. and fang and whale have volunteered their services for prep on the day itself! yay, im really looking forward to it. JUST DONT RAIN. haha. 
and this what we did in consumer chem today! pretty rite? just paint with sodium nitrate on filter paper, blow dry, and stick a glowing splint into it and it burns the word out! fun! i must say, consumer chem has a source of inspiration. and we are gonna make fruit shampoos and soaps for our final performance task. wad happened to the edible soap idea? haha! was thinking of asking the camp ytsa's, we haven gathered for so long! but then, i'm not sure how many will turn up, and if many groups of people might have me spilt. hmmmm. and i'll need more lanterns and sparklers. heh. well, i probably don't have enough anyhow. so might as well get more! see how......... shall think...... raggedy muse
11:50 PM yay! finished report on achilles and his heroic journey! lucky one member of our grp takes lit, or how on earth would we know what to do. unfortunately, that one member is me. so i heroically volunteered. :D prep for sparkler, lantern and mooncake gathering ok i guess. have no idea how many people will turn up though. as of yet, 7 people have absolutely confirmed. need to get more act 3 pple, or those coming will be lonely. i have more than 10 names pending. im here on a one man show. :D buy lanterns and sparklers! many many! joo cant come though. ): oh yes, there is a terribly skewed male female ratio. sorry everyone, no cute guys on offer. HAHA. was looking alvin's nick, and got a little retrospective. i do envy him at times, notes, letters, honest confrontation, expression. not everyone is capable of that. no matter what age or gender. hmm, maybe not envy, but respect. maybe both. there was so much more i could have said, or should have, or still do have, to let someone know. guess i thought someone did know, maybe someone did, maybe not. guess i thought there was time. NEW LESSON REALISED: SAY WHAT YOU WANNA SAY WHEN YOU WANNA SAY IT AND FEEL THAT YOU WANT TO OR NEED TO OR SHOULD and try not to hesitate. and when we all get used to this kind of honesty, we will all have so much better a time. don't assume that there will be other times, and let the moment pass, and end up never being honest in cyclic continium. and end up never being as close as you could be. or worse, even fading away. for friendships, relationships, for any one person you treasure, for any sort of relationship you deem worthy. erm, i think it applies to heartfelt things. think twice before you say something harsh i guess, at least make it sound more tactful and less hurtful. heh heh. its ok, i don't regret or what not. i was just a little more ignorant then. and we all learn. and i guess i have no idea whether i ever will have a chance to say it. but if i ever do, this time i won't hesitate. even if i don't, in the same way, i will, in whichever circumstance that will descend upon me in the unknown ahead. and i shall start now. or at least try very hard too. and we all should too. And when we walked down to the bus stop... - i savoured every little step we took together. Your laughter, Your jokes, Your whines. - the whale - i took a nap just now so im not sleepy! heh heh. alright alright. school tmr. sleep sleep. glorious sleep. CAN'T WAIT FOR SAT. wheeee. raggedy muse
9:00 PM hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur hur. i have officially broken a extraordinary record. i have officially scored the lowest percentage i have EVER in a math test. HAIL THE GENIUS. i got 3 out of 20. :D i should somewhat be comforted that it is only 4%, but then again, in the first place, i ain't extremely traumatised. well, its marks, MATH MARKS, not exactly a chunk of my heart. OMG. i realised that is hm, 15%. oh freak. i have though, DONE MY INTEGRATION ASSG. for once in the line of history. well, since its gonna be the LAST EVER math test i am going to take, i better put some effort into it, or my gpa would be so screwed. siggghhhhhh. OMG. ONE MATH TEST AND H. CHINESE O TO GO. can't believe it. the end is finally near. ---- played with sparklers in the lab today for consumer chem! HAHA. smoked up the place man. the whistlers are pretty fun, but too bad it wasn't dark, and like in the night. heeee. THEY ARE PRREEETTYYY. ahhhhhhhhhh. makes you drunk looking at it. its almost like romance, in a few seconds. of course, FIREWORKS are much much more entrancing. but sparklers have their own small beauty. SPARKLER, MOONCAKE AND LANTERN GATHERING AT MY PLACE SOME TIME THIS WEEK. yay! it'll be realllyyy beautiful. :D nice and windy downstairs by the pools, in the tranquilty of the night, which we shall rip apart in brilliant splendour. yay. so far invitees would include zerui, mich lai (oooohh, u two can meet each other!) fangfang, if she can get out of the house, erms i dunno about others cos all the peps live like far. but if they can go home later, COME ALONG. mmm, should i invite act 3 peps? yaayy. GO BUY LANTERNS AND SPARKLERS WITH ME SOMEONE. AND MOONCAKES. AND TEA. WAHAHA. AND TANG POEM BOOKS FOR RECITING. ok, i was kiddin abt the tang poem thingie. like after options or something. yey. how bout i set it on sat. yesh yesh. a few pple would be nice. more would be nice too. and we can stick candles onto the floor! :P they are pretty. i shall invite the sisters along to play too. hahaha. contemplating the number and dynamics of people to invite. da da da da dum dum. excited!:D wheeee. --- and well, its ok. raggedy muse
7:31 PM you know what? i like where i am now. its a good place to be. a balanced state of being. (i sound like some odd yogi) finally, amazingly, the balance between contentment, acceptance and hope, have seemed to miraculously found their own place of being once again. it took time, it took phases and stages, but i think after long while (long enough i think), it has come into some sort of existence. things, or rather state of mind, has a weird way of working out on its own it seems. past experience proves so, and it only corroborates of now. the scale is once again symmetrical. its nice being here. i have returned to where i belong (haha, reminds me of act 3), after a swerve off the path. its nice to be back. and im glad i swerved. maybe if i didn't swerve, i wouldn't be back here now. i might have been stuck on the curb. maybe being back on path wouldn't have been, as appreciated. and i am glad that it was enough to make me swerve, and i am glad it made me swerve. i suppose the, situation, needs some working out though. its still in a rather.. stagnant, state. but things have never failed to work out somehow. no reason to believe that it can't be done of now. and even not working out, is a form of working out, isn't it. but lets not look to the worse shall we. set our sights a little higher, and you have a better chance of jumping further. there are of course limits to one's physical ability, but at least you aimed. at least thats the case for standing broad jump. rather than looking down at your feet, and jump 2 cm. at least i passed my standing broad jump. at least my side of the state of mind has cleared up. that's a step. although i have absolutely zero clue whats happening on the other side of the wall, i wish i did, and maybe it is better for me not too? at least the part of it that needn't be masked. sure, no resolution is a resolution. sure, it could forever remain a ghost. but if it needn't be, then it needn't be. sure my renewed state of being can effectively counter floating entities and not let it affect me too much, but it would be nice to earth and solidify it. some kind of pinning down would be nice. floaters are rather..fluffy, don't you think? not to mention, how i miss the former manisfestation. and now i miss it, not neccesarily in the former state of being, but... at least part of it which could still be feasible in a different state, or all states. or rather, disregarding all former or possible states, i miss, simply, the person whom i had come to love. and to love not neccesarily in the conventional assumed instintive connotation of the word, but perhaps something that transcends the letters itself. for i cannot exactly put a finger to where it stands in the usual spectrum of archetyped meaning associated with the word. and maybe it doesn't have to fit in there exactly somewhere. and most of the time, these few days, i think the 'missing' factor has largely diminished in my conscious mind, in fact, has become dormant. that is what time and absence does. and probably what i think i actually miss has morphed, or become clear to me, whichever you prefer. which is good. to feel it acutely is painful. but here i am, typing the stuff before this paragraph, and i realise or think i realise, that i genuinely do. helplessly so. even though the image of the former manifestation is fading, i suppose i still do. and how it is that dear friend, says that she misses and misses, and then she doesn't miss anymore. i think she doesn't really really feel that. and then again, one can't define what missing is to everyone, and for all i know, i might not actually be missing. i don't know. that has to be straightened out too. can one decide not to miss someone? some say the day you decide to be happy, that is the day of happiness starrting. if i could decide, should i decide not to miss? does the dormant state say something? what if i in fact, don't love the person anymore, in whatever sense of the word? maybe i never did? ahhhhhh, pardon all my rampant verbalising of inner musings and thought processes. choose what you may to read of it. srsly, it could mean absolutely nothing, or everything. and it is a process, and it may morph in the next minute. now, thats my mind's perogative. when you know that you just don't know. and i know that i just don't know. this post has sounded a little, demented. :) basically what it means, is that i am back to my usual self again. whatever normality entails for me. i would say back to my old self, but not quite. same old brand new me. god, that sounds cheesy.(REMEMBER THE ANCIENT A1 SONG! 'SAME OLD BRAND NEW YOU'. ahhhh, the boy band groupie days.) not exactly brand new though. just, hmmmm, the me that made people like me in the first place, a little little teeny teeny bit wiser, and a little more sensitive and able to relate to 'that' spectrum of human emotion. and a teeny little bit of me still in the 'i don;t know' state. and then we ask, what does 'wise' entail? infer yourself, im lazy :P of course many people don't like me, but for those who did or do in some form. I THINK. if i should dare assume. :D:D:D all these i think i know. *OOOHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.* in the name of the 5 elements in balance, i wish everyone good health, mind and body as one. (in a exaggerated indian accent, similar to the one in '5 birds, but i only have one bird, ok' GRINS) WAHAHAHA. this has been a cheesy irrelevant production of the self professed inspirational YOGI self-taught self-inspired self-obsessed :D ouch. my mind is overworked. that's enough thinking and verbalising thinking for one day. tata! note to self: maybe i should post more less-cerebral stuff. maybe less personal stuff too. maybe less obviously? maybe less in detail?AAHHH. i'll post whatever the heck i want. :P why agonise. here i am transparent, to anyone who can close read and bother to. and i hope that doesn't make me vulnerable.
raggedy muse
7:00 PM never fall for 'bad guys'. 男人不坏，女人不爱．or so they say. what is their inherent charm anyways. sense of danger, adventure? erm, cos they are cool? sighhhh. i don't know. haven't exactly encountered one before. and i have a feeling i don't exactly go for that type. haha, you can say either i am blessed or just too unexposed. i think both. if you want to fall for one, choose those who might seem bad, but in actual fact, has retired from 'badness', or is actually inherently good! *nods fervently* not making any sense am i. ignore my rambling. maybe its better that way, dear friend. and i know it must really really really hurt, maybe more than i can understand. then again, maybe i can, to a certain extent. and it may seem unfathomable now, but it will eventually be ok, and i am confident your innate happy-loving self will emerge again soon. cos we understand the value, the need, and the happiness of choosing happiness. not making much sense, but it makes alot of sense. it takes some cold to know the sun, and it takes some hurt to let us see the true value of what makes us happy. and i think it doesn't hurt anymore. and we'll see what happens from now. :) there's nothing to lose any longer. if i can't eventually, then it shows something. if i can eventually, it shows something too. so then, we shall let the big reveal unveil itself. all in good time, all in good time and it will be for you too. muaks. 快乐需要过去悲伤的衬托 我们才能真正品尝出 生命光彩无限 痛过，哭过 也是生命最凄美的一幕 要泪与笑 交织 才能画出 体会 了解 珍惜 没了悲伤 我们又如何知道什么叫快乐 没了灰暗 我们又如何认得光明 没了寒冬 我们永远不知暖夏 心冻了 才能解冻 就是这样的起起落落 生命才是个挑战 也是这样，生命才有那么一点意思 虽没经历过什么 上刀山下油锅 也没有过惊心动魄，意志摧毁 却有过小小心痛 小小自卑 而这些小小点滴 让我成长 让我短占的生命中 多了那么一点 小小的体会 希望 你 也如此  see, my ah gong looks like a good guy!
and erm, he managed to get my ah ma. (? :D)
and look! they are happy and smiling and nodding.
and the more emotions are pinned to it, the more beautiful a place gets. raggedy muse
7:40 PM hark, ghost! desert me henceforth or reveal thy unearthly being and not cower in the shadows of self-induced illusion and conception thy haunting hath thou spirit locked up in unbound chains fie fie! doth i not see the light? doth thou not, feel weary? temper thy poison, you beshrew my heart. thou art no hilding. soft, O presence of thee show me prophecy enlighten my faith and bestow upon it worth or let thy reveal its stark absence. Reveal thyself! guide me with your dark wisdoms, O how my heart abhors this semi-purgatory. shine upon me a path of newly found hope or open thou eyes to my heart's true desire i am lost. and thy semi-omniscience and partial luminescence only serve purpose of abuse and leaves me but pensive. and yet thy cannot incur my wrath. thy are part of me. reveal thyself in full light, or desert me henceforth. materialise, or scram into the nethers of boundless nothingness. i plead with thee. and yes, it, has become a ghost. and yes, thy have become somewhat of one too. a palimpsest of former beauty, far away. and i plead with thee. Disclaimer: This has been a mere extraction, extrapolation and amplification of certain sentiments on a specific matter, in one specific moment, from a certain specific angle, and may not accurately represent my spectrum of sentiments nor my state of being. It does reflect certain stuff, but no need to take it too gravely :) Oh yes, pardon the not-so-accurate use of the classical form. Just felt like doing it. whee. the tactic of IMMERSE and DETACH. wooo. and now i will purge the chim-ness, which i very well might have failed spectacularly at. but then again, I AM INHERENTLY CHIM AND DEEP. *Pfffttt* heh heh heh. kidding. watched a large bulk of 'you've got mail' while waiting for options, hhaha. 'Kathleen Kelly: What will NY152 say today I wonder. I turn on my computer. I wait impatiently as it connects. I go online, and my breath catches in my chest until I hear three little words: You've got mail. I hear nothing. Not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beating of my own heart. I have mail. From you. ' 'Kathleen Kelly: You don't love me. (starts smiling) Frank Navasky: [shakes his head 'no'] Kathleen Kelly: Me either! (smiling wide) Frank Navasky: You don't love me? Haha! But we're so right for each other. Kathleen Kelly: I KNOW. I know.' (laughs) Frank: What about you, is there someone else? Kathleen Kelly: No. No, but, there's the dream of someone else.' 'Kathleen Kelly: Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.' 'Kathleen Kelly: [in an email to Joe Fox] The odd thing about this form of communication is that you're more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.' but i just want to say that all this nothing, has meant more to me than so many somethings. Memorable quote from adi: "Mature guys are the worst bitches around!" --- Hide not my deep and dark desires --- HAHAHAHAHA. shan just sent me a highly amusing vid of certain tchers during netball carn! harmless and pointless, but highly amusing. :D P.S. amendment to the previous entry. it is Contentment rather than Satisfaction. yeps. TATA! raggedy muse
9:04 PM Pandora, Greek MCPs, and Hope The titan Epimetheus ("hindsight") was responsible for giving a positive trait to each and every animal. However, when it was time to give man a positive trait, there was nothing left. Prometheus ("foresight"), his brother, felt that because man was superior to all other animals, man should have a gift no other animal possessed. So Prometheus set forth to steal fire from Zeus and handed it over to man.Zeus was enraged and decided to punish Prometheus and his creation: mankind. To punish Prometheus, Zeus chained him in unbreakable fetters and set an eagle over him to eat his liver each day, as the eagle is Zeus's sacred animal. Prometheus was an immortal, so the liver grew back every day, but he was still tormented daily from the pain, until he was freed by Hercules during The Twelve Labours.(another reason for Prometheus' torment was because he knew which of Zeus' wife would bear a child who would eventually overthrow Zeus. Zeus commanded that Prometheus reveal the name of the mother, but Prometheus refused, instead choosing to suffer the punishment). To punish mankind, Zeus ordered the other gods to make Pandora as a poisoned gift for man. Pandora was given several traits from the different gods: Hephaestus molded her out of clay and gave her form; Athena clothed her and the Charites adorned her with necklaces made by Hephaestus; Aphrodite? gave her beauty; Apollo gave her musical talent and a gift for healing; Demeter taught her to tend a garden; Poseidon gave her a pearl necklace and the ability to never drown; Zeus made her idle, mischievous, and foolish; Hera gave her curiosity; Hermes gave her cunning, boldness and charm. Thus the name Pandora?"all gifts"?in Hesiod's version derives from the fact that she received gifts from all deities. The most significant of these gifts, however, was a pithos or storage jar, given to Pandora either by Hermes or Zeus. Before he was chained to the rock, Prometheus had warned Epimetheus not to take any gifts from the gods. Epimetheus did not listen to his brother, however, and when Pandora arrived, he fell in love with her. Hermes told him that Pandora was a gift to the titan from Zeus, and he warned Epimetheus not to open the jar, which was Pandora's dowry. Pandora was created to ruin mankind. Until then, mankind had lived a life in a paradise without worry. Epimetheus told Pandora never to open the jar she had received from Zeus. However, Pandora's curiosity got the better of her and she opened it, releasing all the misfortunes of mankind (plague, sorrow, poverty, crime, despair, greed, vice, old age, sickness, insanity, spite, passion, famine, etc.). Once opened, she shut it in time to keep one thing in the jar: hope. The world remained extremely bleak for an unspecified interval, until Pandora "chanced" to revisit the box again, at which point Hope fluttered out. Thus, mankind always has hope in times of evil. In another, more philosophical version of the myth, hope is considered the worst of the potential evils, because it is equated with terrifying foreknowledge. By preventing hope from escaping the jar, Pandora in a sense saves the world from the worst damage. Most scholars contend that Pandora's "box" is a mistranslation, and her "box" may have been a large jar or vase, forged from the earth, perhaps because of similarities in shape between a jar and a woman's uterus. There is also evidence to suggest that Pandora herself was the "jar". Women according to myth makers, of which most probably were made of MEN, as most historians are, were created as punishment to mankind. Doesn't this say something about the eh hem male complex of the time, and the world view of the greeks. HISTORY WAS CREATED BY MEN. LITERALLY. something to wonder about now... what are we learning in class? an account written by a mere half of our species. Gaea collaborated with youngest son Cronos to castrate and depose of Uranus, Cronos swallowed all his children to prevent this 'over-throwing', but was thwarted by wife Rhea, and Zeus the youngest son, overthrew Cronos, and was ever afraid of being overthrown by his sons. Again, the fear of women (Gaea, Rhea) is potrayed. At the start, it was potrayed that men were the only humans roaming earth. Goddesses were given domestic domains, such as agriculture, the hearth, marriage and childbirth. the SUN being MASCULINE, the MOON being feminine, the brightness of each, and which being a reflection of which. decipher for yourself. Envy of women, their ability to give birth, to carry on the line, THE POWER OF THE WOMB. (reminds me of handmaids!) Women are the vessels, the containers, the bearers of life. (the holy grail comes to mind). The men just don't get it, the do not understand what is going on in womens' mind, and this 'not-knowing' is what conjurs the fear and trepidation of the powers and ability of women. GO AWAY MCPs! hahahahahahahahaa. ------ "Pandora rises from the earth; she is the Earth, giver of all gifts," Pan- All, Dora-giver "Hope alone remained within" A saving grace? Terrifying foreknowledge? Pretty ironic the stark contrast in interpretations. The presence of Hope in a jar full of evils for mankind raises questions about whether Hope is a comfort for the evil mankind experiences, or whether the hope for something better must be interpreted as the damnation of mankind. According to Hesiod hope implies the control of the future, and since no one can control the future, to have hope is to be deluded . Others think that Hope being left in the box symbolizes Hope as often being humanity's only comfort. i like to think that Hope is our comfort. For without possesing it, humankind would have no reason to live. And we would all have killed ourselves. If there were no hope in ever getting better grades, no one would be working hard and studying. If there were no hope for success in the future, why would we be slogging here in school. If we did not hold hope for good things and enriching experiences to be ahead of us, we would end our pitiful and measly lives here and now, for there is nothing worth living into the future any longer. In my conclusion, if you are alive, and haven't tried exhaustive means to end your life, you most definitely hold some hope of some kind, in which degree and to what extent you hold it argueable and subjective. But admit it, no matter how we say we cannot trust to hope, hope is the only driving force, our life force in a sense. Is hope delusion? Maybe, in certain cases and to a certain extent in every case. As said above, if hope entails a concept of a certain control over our future, and lets assume the determinist stand and say the the future cannot be controlled, then we are deluding ourselves. If you aspire and hope to become a doctor, and with this hope have chosen the 'correct' or suitable path that most likely leads to this career choice, we are in fact assuming that we have a certain control over our future. Or if we believe in the hope that we will find and marry and live happily forever with the 'right one', but most people will not deny that many of these hopes are dashed as time passes. Even if one were not exactly a determinist, like me, one cannot deny that there are many facets of our future and life that cannot be predicted or is in our control, and to hope, yes, is in a way, deluding ourselves to thinking we can achieve what we likely might not. But, if a certain extent of delusion can fuel a driving force or incentive to living, what the heck is wrong with it? If it is conducive for a positive attitude, to look on the bright side of things, to see the world and our inconsequential existence in a better light, heck i choose to be deluded. If this certain aspect of delusion allows me to live better, happier, in fact it may even be easier to achieve something closer to what we hope to be or are deluded to believe is possible. And it goes full circle. If we believe in the hope of success or love, we will be more driven, more likable, more cheery, and hell, it may just be the factor that helps you gain something closer to your hopes. And even if one doesn't achieve what he or shes hoped for at a point of time, at least all the time leading up to that was passed in bright light. With all that being said, to hope gives rise to the possibility of being let down. And let-downs hurt. But that far from negates the value of hope. For believers in hope, if one goal cannot be achieved at a certain point of time, new hope reignites for the future after that point, and the cycle continues till death, where we can pass on as people who have been optimistic and driven for the whole short life worth. And death is the only certainty in life. And more often than not, optimistic and driven people are happier. I will hope for being hopeful till i reach the day of death. And that is the joy of being mortal. We know that we will one day die. So we try to live each day for all it's worth. And we know that if we sustain hope, we will arrive at the end a happy man. We know there is an end. Unlike immortals. Where might they arrive even if they held hope each day? To see no end. To live day by day. On and on. And we wonder why some people yearn never to die. Its stupid. "Death being Victory in itself" Hope as damnation for mankind? In extreme perhaps. If one never is satisfied and is forever hungry for what he or she deems 'bigger and better', that mad insatiabilty. Maybe that is the downfall of many. Or to think of themselves as invincible and being without doubt able to manipulate and control their future to their liking. To think of themselves as the ultimate prophet and the dictator. And that can only lead to a life of doom. Satisfaction/Acceptance and Hope/Desire. Each of us must find our balance between them, and alot of the time, its freakin hard to locate. And right now i am still conflicted inside. raggedy muse
11:41 AM YINLING'S BLOG BUT WHO COMES 1ST NOT YINLING ITS ME THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE BUT. BOUNCE AROUND IN SCRIBBLES? WHAT THE HELL. I AM BOUNCING AROUND IN SCRIBBLES. YL IS A PIG AND SHE'S CONTAINING ME IN HER DUNGEON WHEN I AM DUE SOMEPLACE ELSE IN THE WORLD OUTSIDE HER IMAGINATION. SHE'LL PROB ERASE ALL OF THIS BUT I DONT CARE. THERE IS A NEED FOR THE *WOMANS VOICE* IN THIS WORLD. YL IS NOT A WOMAN. SHE IS A MAMASAN. -DUMB SHAN.- hahahhahaha. shuddup. fine, i forced her to type something. and thats just as crappy as shan can get. :D in school library now. stoning. cos options don't start till 12. im pretty lucky actually, my options are quite close in timings, so i don't have to wait like hours in between. :D anyhow, any break in between constitutes EATING. WE ARE ALL GONNA GROW FAT I SWEAR. eat eat eat. yay. i realise i am much more willing to spend on food and other stuff nowadays. hmmm. bad. heh heh. philo was fine. integration sucked, everyone found it SUPER easy. mave finished it like in 15 minutes out of the 30 we were give. FREAKY LAH U. GAN MA. YAO DA AH. LAI AH LAI AH! (our usual 'fighting' routine) WANT FIGHT ISIT. COME LAH! COME LAH! there might be a career out there for me as a mamasan. prostituition isn't illegal in Singapore. whee. and the first one i shall peddle is kampong girl shan. but who would want her?! hmmmmm. im sure there are people out there with certain eh hem, fetishes. HEEEE. shall go look for my darling zerui. im alone. while she's out there. I DONT WANT TO BE LONELY. alrighty. i'm not making much sense here. a filler post. YEY WE HAVE WONDERFUL OPTIONS LATER SO EXCITING :D:D:D lets all become fat and eat a lot a lot a lot ! wheeee :)))) ZERUI LOVES U ! yay. zerui loves me. and down we go to buy food. yay. tatas! raggedy muse
10:13 PM eh hem. *clears throat* in line with the theme of this online outlet of expression, here we try to gain insight on what others see into the often elusive and intangible topic of the four-lettered word at the top left corner, and all its associations. the anthropological view Man is torn away from his primary union with nature, which characterizes animal existence. Having at the same time reason and imagination, he is aware of his aloneness and separateness; of his powerlessness and ignorance; of the accidentalness of his birth and death. He could not face this state of being for a second if he could not find new ties with his fellow man which replace the old ones regulated by instincts. Even if all his physiological needs were satisfied, he would experience his state of aloneness and individuation as a prison from which he had to break in order to preserve his sanity. (...) the necessity to unite with other living beings, to be related to them, is an imperative need on the fulfilment of which man's sanity depends. This need is behind all phenomena which constitute the whole gamut of intimate human relations, of all passions which are called love in the broadest sense of the word Erich Fromm, The Sane Society wahahaha Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. Dr. Karl Bowman Love is being stupid together. Paul Valery Love is the cheapest of religions. Cesare Pavese, The Burning Brand: Diaries 1935-1950 (1952; tr. 1961), entry for 21 Dec. 1939. People who are not in love fail to understand how an intelligent man can suffer because of a very ordinary woman. This is like being surprised that anyone should be stricken with cholera because of a creature so insignificant as the comma bacillus. Marcel Proust, Remembrance of Things Past, vol. 2, "Swann's Way: Swann in Love" The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. George Bernard Shaw forget about love, i'll rather fall for chocolates! All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz) It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. Miranda Ingram ahhh, who cares about love I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza. Alf Whit If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Lily Tomlin Romantic love, in pornography as in life, is the mythic celebration of female negation. For a woman, love is defined as her willingness to submit to her own annihilation…. The proof of love is that she is willing to be destroyed by the one whom she loves, for his sake. For the woman, love is always self-sacrifice, the sacrifice of identity, will, and bodily integrity, in order to fulfill and redeem the masculinity of her lover. Andrea Dworkin Madame, it is an old word and each one takes it new and wears it out himself. It is a word that fills with meaning as a bladder with air and the meaning goes out of it as quickly. It may be punctured as a bladder is punctured and patched and blown up again and if you have not had it it does not exist for you. All people talk of it, but those who have had it are marked by it, and I would not wish to speak of it further since of all things it is the most ridiculous to talk of and only fools go through it many times. Ernest Hemingway, Death in the Afternoon, ch. 11 some apparently do Love (understood as the desire of good for another) is in fact so unnatural a phenomenon that it can scarcely repeat itself, the soul being unable to become virgin again and not having energy enough to cast itself out again into the ocean of another's soul. James Joyce, Notes to the play Exiles When desire, having rejected reason and overpowered judgment which leads to right, is set in the direction of the pleasure which beauty can inspire, and when again under the influence of its kindred desires it is moved with violent motion towards the beauty of corporeal forms, it acquires a surname from this very violent motion, and is called love. Socrates, Quoted in: Plato, Phaedrus. (yay, philo! philo test tmr. which i haven't touched wheeee) When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions May wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams As the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you So shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth So is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses Your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and Shake them in their clinging to the earth. Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great. Comte DeBussy-Rabutin Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. Henry Van Dyke To love at all is to be vulnerable. C.S. Lewis A pity beyond all telling Is hid in the heart of love. W. B. Yeats To be wounded by Eros' arrow, buys a ticket to float above Olympus, or to be chucked into Tartarus. it is the Nemesis with Cerberus on guard. like Prometheus immortal agony when will Hercules come and get me? i don't want to become Hera! go away Hades, don't abduct me! (ok this is not making much literary sense) mommy save me! (and down comes Demeter) winter falls and to all those who meet a Zeus i pity thee. ahahah! yay! a lousy attempt at incoporating what i have learnt so far in 'of gods, heroes, and men in skirts' in a poem. i swear i'll do a better one sometime. this one sounds like a what a seven year old is capable of. :D i'll try to put eveything in the next one. HAHA. raggedy muse
5:28 PM raggedy muse
6:08 PM 点灯，灭灯，封灯 just watched 'raise the red lantern' on vcd, directed by zhang yimou and gong li as lead actress. one of the earlier works. the plight and agony of women in those days. to have no other purpose or path in life but to serve the husband, to bear children, to fight for favour of the husband amongst the many wives. to be dictated by the lighting of the red lantern. to have no other choice. to not be a, person. to not be able to choose what they love, whether it be profession, person, passion. they just sit around and plot against each other with nothing to fuel the desire to live and die inside bit by bit. so young. we are very very lucky to be born in today. beautiful misc-en-scene, the new term we learnt in narrative film! no need to go to school today for my entrepreneurship option, wheee. for school is closed for the IMF convention. no quite sure why, our school is always closed for events such as these, and the regional security talk also. something to do with shangri-la next to us? not sure. but no need to wake up early!:D philo and math tests coming up. i can't find the confounded philo notes. got lost in the frenzy of exams. liberty, paternalism, offense and harm, etc. etc. INTEGRATION. i lazy to staaarttt. gahh. hello stranger. goodbye stranger. "did i know you?" *silence* "i suppose not." Life is bigger It's bigger than you And you are not me The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no I've said too much I haven't said enough I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think I thought I saw you try Every whisper Of every waking hour I'm Choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt lost and blinded fool Oh no I've said too much I set it up Consider this The hint of the century Consider this The slip that brought me To my knees failed What if all these fantasies Come flailing around Now I've said too much I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think I thought I saw you try But that was just a dream That was just a dream ryan star's version of losing my religion is mesmerising. lukas rossi's 'creep'-radiohead is electrifying. :D :D
raggedy muse
5:14 PM love is a dirty word      mich lai and me.grr. the others won't come out. scored 2 fluke goals in soccer today! wahaha. yay joo. one just deflected upon my knee into the goal :D so tyco. how i wish i could _________ you, _______________________________. but, i know___________,___________,____________,_____________. so i'll just have to __________ myself, ____________________________. and try not to let it _________,_________,_________,___________. try try. and it will end up someway, somehow, sometime. and it doesn't matter what word is used in its place, does it. It takes a crane to build a crane It takes two floors to make a story It takes an egg to make a hen It takes a hen to make an egg There is no end to what I'm saying It takes a thought to make a word And it takes some words to make an action And it takes some work to make it work It takes some good to make it hurt It takes some bad for satisfaction Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la It takes a night to make it dawn And it takes a day to make you yawn brother And it takes some old to make you young It takes some cold to know the sun It takes the one to have the other And it takes no time to fall in love But it takes you years to know what love is And it takes some fears to make you trust It takes those tears to make it rust It takes the dust to have it polished Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la It is so... It takes some silence to make sound And it takes a loss before you found it And it takes a road to go nowhere It takes a toll to make you care It takes a hole to make a mountain and why does it still lightly hurt inside. and i have no idea what to do about it, except let it be.
raggedy muse
10:12 PM football was amusing today. head-banging into the filthy ball. and the free kick. HAHA. instead of er hem, protecting certain body parts as the male counterpart does, they were holding hands. and kell i bet was more concerned about getting the ball over our classmates heads so as not to hit them, and screaming ensues once the ball is kicked. heh heh. remember rugby. scrums were fun man! and the victory dance. whoo. of gods, heroes and men in skirts was fine, the one hour past amazingly fast. nike is the greek goddess of atheletic victory! supposedly tmr, our content will have alot of blood and gore. whee. consumer chem was amusing. shredding the diaper and its cotton wool inside to extract the elusive crystals which absorb liquid and can hold up to many times its original volume. a diaper can hold about 42 test tubes of water! and the crystals become squishy gel like cubish thingamajigs. and the diaper becomes a squishy pillow. by the way, the same stuff is used in our pads. if not for this invention, we would still be using leaves! HAHA. never immerse yourself in water with a pad. hur. i swear i splurge all my money on food. new zealand ice cream today again. fang, its ok if u eat alot and grow fat, im sure ehem ehem ehem ehem. but i am a different case. i have to retain my whatever remaining of a figure, no matter that it isn't spectacular in the first place. or no one will want me ever. heh. oh yes. fang, sian and joo made my try on the polka dotted dress for their entertainment, after pointing out different stuff along to way, cos we were bored. they think i should get it. :D they always bully me one! i dun have to be 'put up with' OK! im hurt. 4 years. :P yah har, 4 years liaos ah fang and sian. fang is forever complaining about my 2 year stint as her lab and cooking partner. remember in physics, cos the tcher was soooooooo unengaging, we would be talking during lab about weird emo stuff that we went through in sec 1 or 2. hahas. oi, at least i could actually cook ok. and you dun always have to point out stuff such as me dripping my ice cream on my pinafore. and reading ur message aloud while typing, "yinling the loser has dripped ice cream on her pinafore again." grrrrr. i'll smoulder you with a hug that will last forever. muahahahaha. you're stuck with me for 2 out of 4 options! oh yes i got the photos of mich and me! hahahaas. shall put it up sometime. sis wants the comp. tatas loves! raggedy muse
6:40 PM i swear our class rocks. we won netball carn AGAIN!!! wooo~! reigning champions! we remained unbeatable, but we drew with 409. our first match of the day. heng the rain didn't spoil everthing. and apparently alot can be done in 3 mins of a match. i am quite terrible at shooting, which i was put into last minute after not having touched the ball in a year. but at least our overall score was not too embarrassing. luckily we took part in the shooting comp though. :) or that one point win over 411 would have been unattainable. "you are reminded that netball is a non contact sport." hehe. i swear patrick mr lim is so amusing. pointing down at the shooter's shoes saying "your shoelaces!" intermittently while waving frantically to defend the goal. -.-"""" hahaha. principal had a talk with us yest. i am grateful for rp. it has honed me in some way o level prep would not have. another interesting feature of her talk on going on to jc, "boy, oh boy". hahas. and yes that was the title of her slide. is it true that holding hands doesn't mean that much to a guy as a girl? hmmm. if it is, thats sad. heh. and from then on we must all SIT PROPERLY. no oops i did it again.:P and be firm yet kind (in rejections of some kind), so you can still be friendly. AND DON'T LEAD ANYONE ON. dress appriopriately. :D well, thats what she mentioned. and some exclamations during the talk show that some people feel its sad to marry the first boyfriend. "must try many and choose the best mahh!" haha. well, to each his own. but it does save the hurt, and is sweet whatttsss. but marriage is far far far far far away. ahhh, soon we'll be leaving the safe sanctuary of being in the constant and exclusive company of the female population and the lull of it all. after being in such a schooling environment for 10 years of my 16 year life. (oh man, did i really only live 6 years with boys around?) options started today! narrative film proves promising, and entrepreneurship was SUPER boring in the first half, but when it came down to brainstorming and stuff it was not that bad after all. at least its in school now, or how on earth would i rush down from school to s'pore poly. of gods, heroes and men in skirts tmr! hope it'll be cool. is there philo tmr? hmm. kicking around the football tmr also. oh no math formative quiz. :P my integration knowledge base is non existant. ah heck. :P oh yesh! my eye stye has disappeared! thought maybe you could have retreated to the darker extremeties of my mind, and maybe, just maybe, those feelings are in a place of shade and shield. and then it is brought into dim light again. and once again i realise. with this helpless revelation, once again there is no other better alternative but for darkness, to prevail over the dim, dimness. and i walk out into the stark bright light. dark, dim, bright. what is the light i should see? when will i, see the light? at the end of the tunnel, perhaps maybe for those dims to die out or for that blinding brightness to blind me in the dark or for that cascading spotlight to hit me, in the face and my audience, mere bleak figures blank dark faces and i, am the only one bathed in lime. light hits in straight lines. and hurts. not to let refraction of obscure angles parallex distort done. but with errors. parallel lines never to meet at any point reflect and lines cut each other in a frenzy has the light hit? hit the lights. raggedy muse
11:08 PM i really ramble alot i was wondering. what use would my grasp of hokkien be of in the future? i mean, not many of our generation speak dialect. hell, i don't even speak to my parents in dialect. ok fine, the occasional phrase or two. but still. so when our grandparents generation is gone, what use would dialect be of to us? pretty sad. at least you could use cantonese in hong kong.I WANT LEARN CANTONESE. it sounds nice. hokkien is more practical and homey, but cantonese is kinda elegant. but you really need the environment of speaking and listening to it to grasp it. i swear when i was in thailand, and there was this distant aunt with us that could only speak cantonese, after a while i could actually understand what she was saying most of the time. it isn't that hard. not all that different from chinese or hokkien, you can SORTA tell. hahas. MAVIS. RAMBLE MORE IN CANTONESE TO ME. mavis' cantonese is excellent. speaks to her mom in it. her english is top-notch, and so is her freakin chinese. jealous. pouts. i can only say that i am not bad. but not great. MOU CHOU LA LEI! :) oh yah. had a pretty painful dream last night. not literally but. painful maybe cos it was pretty realistic, that could well play out in reality. guess it shows how much it still affects me. and how it hurts sometimes. maybe my brain was trying to prepare me in case such an event played out. thats what dreams do don't they, as i have mentioned here before. heh. dreams ah dreams. gah gah gah. i don't want i don't want i don't want i don't want. pouts. dream a little dream of me. doesn't it suck sometimes that all you can do, is nothing. maybe sit and wait. and sit more. wait some more. and sometimes people with that perogative, choose to remain passive. but then again, who is to say what is right or wrong. what should or should not be. we little teeny things practically inconsequential in this vast unfathomable body of universe and time, can only well, see how it will all play out. sit and wait to see if all you will do is sit and wait. ha. and this is called: life. and no i am not a determinist. but still. we don't exactly know what we will decide till we decide it. by the ways, determinism has too many loopholes. loves philo. :P but then again, on a biased point of view, when does passivity ever really get you what you want. probably sometimes. when fate overrides human intervention. but definitely not most times. and then again, too much aggresiveness could get pushy. we all have to find our own balance point. tension of opposites. maybe nothing is wanted, and passivity is the only option. but that's sad. some control is still needed. direction. passion. moving forward. and maybe gaining happiness on the way. satisfaction. SOMETHING. and not nothing. and if we are not heading off spontaneously sometimes, we probably would have never discovered something. something we enjoy, or something we love. haha. sometimes barging around has its rewards.*rambles on and on* AIYAH, in my personal one-sided highly biased point of view, life's too short to agonise. do what you wanna do once in a while, you might gain something unexpected. especially grasp the chance when you are young and still have not that much on your shoulders. and failure doesn't crash your life down too much. in fact it might be something to build-upon. again, BALANCE. ha, easy to say, hard to do. then we all must mop in the dark and try to make sense of it all. just make sure whatever you choose, you won't regret. and regret in the sense that it is not reconcileable. i regret i ate the cake that made me puke. i regret i never had the chance to tell my father i loved him before he died. (touch wood, purely an example) or i regret i let love pass me by, just like that. or i regret i let that great friend disappear from my life, without a fight. they are different. no regrets, that's the most important. then any day you die, you can leave in peace. whee. and i think its good to understand this early. or we will become 落叶！小心落叶。hehehehehe. remember chinese eoy? before regret becomes too late. 缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念 我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天 极光掠夺天边 北风掠过想你的容颜 我把爱烧成了落叶 却换不回熟悉的那张脸 想 唤醒被遗弃的爱情 雪花已铺满了地 深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰 (chinese literaries love to use 落叶 as an analogy don't they) when we learn how to die, we learn how to live. (tuesdays with morrie!) 小心落叶。 i didn't mean to talk so much about such abstract concepts. i expound too much. haha. see my crapping ability? wheee. gets my marks in humanities. why on earth do i sound like some odd self help book. but i mean it. talking about spontaneous. lets go take up a salsa or belly dancing class or something. zerui, mich lai! hear? hahas. but thhhheeeeennnn. dearest mich lai still has exams. or not we can go join the salsacise class at my rc! 2 mins from my house! HAHA. and zerui lives too far. ha.hmm, maybe to be more spontaneous, i'll go join it on my own. errm. HA. alvin says that i am hot, and which guy thinks otherwise, he bets is gay. ha. so now, remember to answer carefully when i ask if you think i am hot. ok, girls don't count. cos whoever says i am not, well then whoever is gay. yay. sue big lawyer alvin if you don't agree. and no alvin, you pay if you lose the case. :D GRRR. photos won't load. forget it. another day! this post was much longer than i intended it to be. raggedy muse
10:16 PM LOVVEE-LLYY boo!went 'shopping' with zerui today. though not much actual shopping was done. alot of eating. i swear, all my money goes into food. all the rubbish that i munch on, which often includes ice cream. whee. a least the amount of walking i do burns up what i eat. heh heh. all we need is love, all we need is love love, love is all we need.. singing that song the way walking home from the mrt. lala. why, for i am in the mood for love! haha! outdoor performance at esplanade, loveellyy. under the night sky, with litted cbd and fullerton and the merlion in view, the wind, ahhhh. music! soul and jazz, and er 9 out of 10 were lovely love songs! by stevie wonder and sorts. haha. love the brazilian drums, i think they are brazilian anyways, and the tinkling thing. yay. wouldn't it be lovely to have someone you love next to you. as it was the case for many over there, hee. i had zerui! *:)* but yah, you know what i mean. LALA. but no matter, the music and the atmosphere was looovveeellyyyy anyhows. and zerui is the best substitute anyone can find. (i was kiddin about the substitute part. you will never be a substitute. for i love you too:)) looking forward to when i next get that magical feeling all the seemingly cliche love songs gush about. and i shall be very patient. i've remained technically so for 16 years, so a while longer won't hurt. as long as its not another 16 years. that would be sad. HAHA. by then i would be 32~!!! now everyone, bring a loved one to watch the outdoor performances at esplanade! i think its every friday, sat, and sun at 7.30. a friend, your family, anyone you enjoy being with, and head down. you won't regret it. (i sound like some freakin esplanade ad or something) i think cityhall at night is the prettiest place in singapore to be. and i hope, that no matter how i get hurt, i will not lose my faith in love. for anyone who does, that's sad. it really is. it's terrible. i understand that its sometimes inevitable, but its really sad, and i hope no one or as little people as possible have to go through it. oh my, i sound really absorbed and oddly childish. gahhh. aiyah, WHO CARES. shoot me. eeeeeeeee, even i think i'm mushy. but we all ask ourselves, which homosapien doesn't crave for love. we'll look into that issue on another account. but we all know its true. from a baby. LOVE EACH OTHER, OR PERISH and to love, is the only rational act. be happy everyone. and i am happy for everyone who is happy :) 如果我爱上你的笑容 该怎么收藏 该怎么拥有 天上的星星笑地上的人 总是不能够 不能知足足够 知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛。 and i'll suppress the hurt. 用恒星的恒心 a shooting star... i'm in love with love, for i love you. and for now, it is unable to be anyone else. and it is inable of being nulled. ---- TECHNIQUES OF INTEGRATION!!!!!!!!!!!! and reality hits. get out of gaga land! raggedy muse
10:10 AM my eye stye is getting smaller!:D raggedy muse
8:00 PM bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. don't bother again. (and what else makes me go bahhhhhh like that) spent the afternoon at esplanade library and walking around cityhall AGAIN, and finished reading Kuo Bao Kun's "Coffin too big for the hole and other plays". And flipped through his 'biography' of sorts. *ADMIRATION* yay, am quite inspired by him. i love his 棺材太大洞太小！i watched 梁志强 act it in his one man show. cant remember his english name for some reason! grr. brilliant play wright, and a pioneer in singapore theatre. i suppose i am kinda trained in his style of plays, cos our chinese drama instructor is the co artistic director of Theatre Practice 实践, which Kuo Bao Kun used to be artistic director of if i am not wrong. yup no doubt, the whole 抽象 concept, the BIG TREE thing haha, very reminescent of 傻小妹和怪老树。fine. no one knows what on earth am i rambling about. and the 巨人 play in nanyang's chinese drama night. again very 实践 style. or so i feel. whee. oh yes. i am inspired to start writing a play! i attempted last year, to write one for our this year's yanchu, but it just didn't materialise. i'll probably give up half way again, but still i'll give it a try. :D by the way nanyang and hci's production was emmaculate in my opinion. compared to ours, ha ha. ours wasn't bad, but by their standards, whoa. one measure of the effort put in was the amount of tears and cheering after the final show. whoa. ours was, er, lets quickly go home now shall we. but theirs was a larger scale performance, and they had more performances than us, so i guess the build-up was greater. but seriously, they have to be applauded. great quality. rambling on and on about theatre, don't bother about me heh. i could ramble more on how good their production was, but i'll spare you. yay. i am not even sure if i really really want to or will further my career into a fully fledged theatre one. it's a hell a lot of hard work and the literal rewards are sometimes pretty elusive. will i really be able to be that passionate worker of the arts, i don't know. we'll see. for now, in the protected world of education and schooling, i'll drown myself in theatre all i want. there are no repercussions of reality to deter me. if i do go into it, then i'll try my best to make all my experience in the mandarin and english theatre circles (and yes, the styles of both are different), and chinese opera, all its worth. yay. we'll see how my er, play will turn out. wheeee. i think i'll write it in chinese? then i can maybe donate it back to chinese drama for next year or something. i think the sec 3s this year need alot of help to keep it going. and yes its going on! i think there will be chinese drama syf!!! so our cca will live. woo. netball carn on monday. and the reigning champions, 410, has not trained at all. haha. and fang and qing are damn stressed, for last year.... 310 was unbeatable. literally. 13 out of 13 games we won. 通杀! wahahaha. we have a name to live up to, and all the classes are clamouring to beat us. and everyone is like, training their butts off. some classes have trained 3 times in the week. and everyone is like, aiyah 410, you all don't need to train lah. haha. good luck. but a few of them are training tmr! oil the rust away! JIAYOU! come on man! keep the perfect record! NE quiz was amusing. the comps in the lab were very screwed, and kept hanging. i'm sure more than half the class had to redo it. i had to redo it thrice, my comps died on me halfway through 2 times. answer NE questions to earn money and build stuff on singapore to earn credit. amusing. OH YEAH. i shud go check my options. OH YEAH. I GOT MY FIRST OPTION. whee. which is
whee. i better go check my timetable. i'm gonna have to rush from school to s'pore poly in under 1/2 hour. how is that gonna be possible. unless i take a cab. grr. NO MONEY. but i didn't have any other choice lahs. options timetable is very confounded. and naturally so. clashes with my financial literacy!! lala. i think i have too much to ramble about. *bounces around* raggedy muse
9:37 PM 99 red heart balloons in the sky i have an eye stye. An Eye Stye is a common infection of the hair follicle of an eyelash, resembling a sore similar to a boil or a pimple in the gland at the edge of the eyelid which leads to blockage of the hair follicles that may become swollen, nuisance and painful to the touch. An Eye stye occurs when staphylococcal bacteria infect one of the tiny glands at the base of the eyelid hairs and then becomes inflamed. An infection bacterium is frequently transferred from one hair shaft to another when rubbing it to relieve itching. im supposed to let it suppurate, suppuration refers to the forming of a head on an infection, and let the damn thing pop on its own. eww. haha. but it should be fine in a few days. if it doesn't, then i worry. at least mine seems pretty small, and not to the point of scary. heh. haven't started on techniques of integration. bleah math. 4% test next week, grr. ahh, nice wind. |
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YINLING ♥ | | Birds flying high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Reeds driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feeling good |
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CHATTERBOX
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WISHFUL
RUNAWAY
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Desiger/edited by: MilkshakeeeBasecode: doughnutcrazy Music: LALALA! Icon: Picture Cbox: Tag |
raggedy muse
5:32 PM lanterns, sparklers, candles, bubbles, water guns! yay, fang and joo went with me today to buy supplies, at concourse, some weird place we never knew about, and tmr i shall continue with zerui to get hmmm lighters, plastic cutlery, food? maybe i'll ask daddy to go with me to get food. and fang and whale have volunteered their services for prep on the day itself! yay, im really looking forward to it. JUST DONT RAIN. haha.
and this what we did in consumer chem today! pretty rite? just paint with sodium nitrate on filter paper, blow dry, and stick a glowing splint into it and it burns the word out! fun! i must say, consumer chem has a source of inspiration. and we are gonna make fruit shampoos and soaps for our final performance task. wad happened to the edible soap idea? haha! was thinking of asking the camp ytsa's, we haven gathered for so long! but then, i'm not sure how many will turn up, and if many groups of people might have me spilt. hmmmm. and i'll need more lanterns and sparklers. heh. well, i probably don't have enough anyhow. so might as well get more! see how......... shall think...... raggedy muse
7:00 PM never fall for 'bad guys'. 男人不坏，女人不爱．or so they say. what is their inherent charm anyways. sense of danger, adventure? erm, cos they are cool? sighhhh. i don't know. haven't exactly encountered one before. and i have a feeling i don't exactly go for that type. haha, you can say either i am blessed or just too unexposed. i think both. if you want to fall for one, choose those who might seem bad, but in actual fact, has retired from 'badness', or is actually inherently good! *nods fervently* not making any sense am i. ignore my rambling. maybe its better that way, dear friend. and i know it must really really really hurt, maybe more than i can understand. then again, maybe i can, to a certain extent. and it may seem unfathomable now, but it will eventually be ok, and i am confident your innate happy-loving self will emerge again soon. cos we understand the value, the need, and the happiness of choosing happiness. not making much sense, but it makes alot of sense. it takes some cold to know the sun, and it takes some hurt to let us see the true value of what makes us happy. and i think it doesn't hurt anymore. and we'll see what happens from now. :) there's nothing to lose any longer. if i can't eventually, then it shows something. if i can eventually, it shows something too. so then, we shall let the big reveal unveil itself. all in good time, all in good time and it will be for you too. muaks. 快乐需要过去悲伤的衬托 我们才能真正品尝出 生命光彩无限 痛过，哭过 也是生命最凄美的一幕 要泪与笑 交织 才能画出 体会 了解 珍惜 没了悲伤 我们又如何知道什么叫快乐 没了灰暗 我们又如何认得光明 没了寒冬 我们永远不知暖夏 心冻了 才能解冻 就是这样的起起落落 生命才是个挑战 也是这样，生命才有那么一点意思 虽没经历过什么 上刀山下油锅 也没有过惊心动魄，意志摧毁 却有过小小心痛 小小自卑 而这些小小点滴 让我成长 让我短占的生命中 多了那么一点 小小的体会 希望 你 也如此 see, my ah gong looks like a good guy!
and erm, he managed to get my ah ma. (? :D)
and look! they are happy and smiling and nodding.
and the more emotions are pinned to it, the more beautiful a place gets. raggedy muse
5:14 PM love is a dirty word mich lai and me.grr. the others won't come out. scored 2 fluke goals in soccer today! wahaha. yay joo. one just deflected upon my knee into the goal :D so tyco. how i wish i could _________ you, _______________________________. but, i know___________,___________,____________,_____________. so i'll just have to __________ myself, ____________________________. and try not to let it _________,_________,_________,___________. try try. and it will end up someway, somehow, sometime. and it doesn't matter what word is used in its place, does it. It takes a crane to build a crane It takes two floors to make a story It takes an egg to make a hen It takes a hen to make an egg There is no end to what I'm saying It takes a thought to make a word And it takes some words to make an action And it takes some work to make it work It takes some good to make it hurt It takes some bad for satisfaction Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la It takes a night to make it dawn And it takes a day to make you yawn brother And it takes some old to make you young It takes some cold to know the sun It takes the one to have the other And it takes no time to fall in love But it takes you years to know what love is And it takes some fears to make you trust It takes those tears to make it rust It takes the dust to have it polished Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful Ah la la la la It is so... It takes some silence to make sound And it takes a loss before you found it And it takes a road to go nowhere It takes a toll to make you care It takes a hole to make a mountain and why does it still lightly hurt inside. and i have no idea what to do about it, except let it be.
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